The faint aroma of imaginary success

Doing the show on my own this past Sunday was liberating, and by all accounts was decidedly better than every other show I had done with the former co-host. My comedian guests, Ian Salmon and Sarah Newell, were fabulous and very generous to spend their time with me on Sunday after doing a huge gig the night before - a Def Comedy Jam event! Look these people up on MySpace, they're really nice and fun, and overall I was very very happy with how the show went. I need to upload it for sure. This one I am actually proud of, minus me stumbling over the very long call letters and legal ID of the station at the opening of the show. It just sucks not having almost any time to dedicate to serious production work. It should already be edited and ready for your listening pleasure, but I am so tired, I can barely dress myself in the morning.
Which brings me to my next point. As much as I honestly heart the Junkies, and Bret O, and pretty much everyone at WJFK, I don't know how much more of this schedule I can take. My internship is officially done in a few weeks, so naturally I would like to have a sit-down with the PD and see if they can make any room for me at all there. I can't imagine not ever seeing any of the wonderful people I've met at the station. The thought of it really makes me sad. But come on, waking up at 3:30 AM three times a week for FREE?! I mean, if I can at least get some paid hours at the station, I could cut back more at the salon and live more like a human and less like a zombie. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll become the most hated Junkette! Ha ha ha.

Whatever, it's time to brag. A famous person who may or may not have appeared on the show in recent weeks called me today! He actually called me! I am honestly floored by how kind and wonderful and cordial people can be, when you least expect it. Am I retarded to hope for an actual long-term friendship? Every time someone expresses any form of liking me, my first response is to laugh in my own face. But why the hell not? Total retards go around liking people and being liked back, so I deserve a little bit of love and respect too, and it might as well be from well-known public figures. Maybe if I got more of it as a sickly infant, I wouldn't feel so doubtful about it all now... Yes, it all comes back to the mommy issues. Wah, wah, wah! No, but seriously.... When I think about the fact that my mom got married and knocked up with me by age 20, I just feel bad for her. I really did ruin her life. No wonder she pawned me off to my grandparents for much of my baby-hood so she could at least finish college. She claims she's happy, but I know that when my birthday rolls around on Monday, AKA Cinco de Mayo, she will remind me once again about how the labor almost killed her. She just can't help herself. I know it was traumatic, but I can't spend my entire life feeling guilty for existing. Or maybe I can. My guilt levels are always at a nice, steady level, peaking in the red during holidays.

This coming up Sunday, another really funny local comedian will join me in studio. I met him at a bar downtown. His name is Peter. Before I even knew he was a comedian, he made me crack up while serving us drinks. He made fun of yuppy people in the neighborhood who call their children Dylan, Declan, Madison, and Carter without any provocation, without thinking twice that perhaps MY name is Dylan, Declan, Madison, or Carter. I liked that about him. He just knew it would make us all laugh. He made fun of us too, right to our faces. I respect that kind of person. So anyway, he'll be my guest and it's guaranteed to be a great show!